BREAKING NEWS: Americans required to add Star of David to U.S. flags by July 4th: Velcro stars available at most post offices

by David Morris

WASHINGTON (USMediaAndIsrael.com) – Last Friday in a special session, Congress passed a bipartisan bill requiring Americans to add Israel’s Star of David to the U.S. flag.

Sen. Dale Wentworth (D-NJ) told reporters from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial:

“The great nation of Israel has real Americanness. In many ways, Israel is already America’s 51st state. Thanks to our foreign aid, Israel’s per capita income rivals our own.”

Citizens who own American flags should proceed to their nearest Post Office to receive their free Star of David patch, which includes a convenient flag-ready VELCRO® backing.

Sen. Wentworth and Rep. Hugh Llewellyn III (R-AL) recently received $25 million in contributions from the Friends of Zionism (FIZ). In response to reporters’ questions, Rep. Llewellyn replied that, unlike the $15 million Presidential candidate Gingrich received from Sheldon Adelson, his money had no strings attached:

“The fact is, Israelis treat Palestinians exactly like we did our American Indians. Israel’s razing of villages, killing innocents, and seizing Palestinian land for their settlers are purely defensive actions. We are trying to deflect international criticism like the disturbing and offensive photo comparison. No one should question the moral authority of the U.S. and Israel.”

GOP nominee Mitt Romney quickly placed calls both to Prime Minister Netanyahu and Sheldon Adelson to express his “deep and profound pleasure” at the bill’s passage.

Israeli officials have made no comment on the Congressmens’ bill, except to say that the Star of David should be placed above the American flag’s other fifty stars.

Postscript: This political satire on the U.S. relationship with Israel was censored by Facebook and — though receiving an enormous response by Daily Kos readers — deleted and banned by the media site. Apparently some organizations find this message too dangerous or too close to home.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Brian 06.20.12 at 6:54 am

Israel will never become the 51st state, because then they would only have 2 U.S. Senators

2 Ben Worthling 06.20.12 at 10:28 pm

Not exactly like ours. Israel receives more federal aid (our tax dollars) than do most states of our USA.

3 john 06.26.12 at 12:01 pm

NO WAY WILL I PLACE A ISREAL STAR OF DAVID ON MY FLAG, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER

4 Ken McMurtrie 06.28.12 at 12:13 am

Just recovered from choking on my lunchtime apple!
This is a joke, of course. But it’s not April 1st.
Because it would be true that the American flag would visually become realistic with the addition of the Star of David as the prime state, it almost conceivably could become true.
Please confirm that this is a joke?

5 Maggie 07.01.12 at 6:04 pm

At least our elected officials aren’t being bought cheap.

6 James 07.03.12 at 10:03 pm

Facebook would have banned the Declaration of Independence for fear of antagonizing England! What next?

7 F. G. Sanford 07.04.12 at 11:11 pm

They banned it because they realized too many Americans totally believed it.

8 Tom Hillgardner 07.05.12 at 12:49 am

I just got to this page from a link on Facebook. So just how serious is, and what is the nature of this ban?

9 JJ 07.05.12 at 3:30 am

Wow, really? I don’t see anything thing that would trigger the “ban” hammer. We already know the media cannot say anything about Israel so I guess it’s the same for facebook.

And Israel is one of Americas biggest welfare state. Funny how the media tries to blame education, old people and immigrants as the “tax burden” of our society.

As a tax payer, I would rather have my tax money spent on education, senior citizens and other social program to help the people living in America.

Rather than funding those terrorists in Israel. They murdered 9 Americans in cold blood in an Aid ship and they bull dozed a young American women trying to save a Palestinian home.

Yet, the media remains silent on Israel’s crime to humanity.

10 Dave 07.05.12 at 5:31 am

Don’t laugh, Abe Foxman of the ADL, along with Michael Cohen & the creepy Mark Potok of the SPLC are working on making it a crime to create comedy like this.

11 David Morris 07.05.12 at 7:51 am

@Tom Hillgardner, that’s great to hear! Due to user volume, Facebook appears to have finally reconsidered their position and lifted its ban. A triumph for democracy and freedom of speech!

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